These are Our Dog-Days of Summer...

So far summer has creeped by slowly, and we've celebrated the multiple family birthdays that come with the first two weeks of June. Jesse claims he is now "middle-aged" and my mom is now a half-century old!!

We have been dog-sitting for a young playful sheltie and will probably have him for at least a couple more weeks. It has been interesting to see our dogs interact with him, as they are very laid back most of the time, and he just wants to play play play, and bark!

So that was a slight adjustment to 'going outside' time and 'feeding' time, and of course throwing off my routine a bit. But now I think we've finally got it down, and Buddy (the sheltie's name) goes willingly to 'bed' (aka: his cage) at night, without me having to wrestle him down or chase him around the house. yes, that was fun...

He hasn't been upstairs but one time, and that's all it took. I don't think he had ever experienced stairs that high? not sure. But when it came time for him to climb DOWN, he was reluctant, but then, like superman stretching out his arms to fly, he stuck out his front legs and leaped down about 5 steps like he was trying to jump to me at the bottom of the stairs! oh. my.

He is a cutie though, lots of personality!

This is Buddy:

So, that is about it for the moment.

Lots of things churning in my head tonight, so we'll see what cultivates, and I'll post again soon!

~Shannon

Adoption Blessing for a Friend!

Friends of ours got some much awaited, wonderful news!

They JUST got a call this week to adopt a baby girl ~ due in TWO WEEKS!!

It is such a blessing, but also quite a challenge to prepare so quickly.

I am trying to help them get the word out, as they need some help (and prayers too!) in order to pull everything together.

Check out their story, and if you feel led to do so, maybe you can help them out!

http://brownfamilyadoption.chipin.com

And a Happy Mother's Day shout out to all ya'll Mothers! :) You are such special people!!!!
Jesse and I had a great day sharing it with our moms, and grandma's!
~Blessings~

Losing Baggage

Just a short post today, I have something pressing on my heart that I need to let loose!

I'm Hoping to LOSE some Baggage! Yes, that's right, lose it!

Not going on vacation, although I wish!!

I'm talking about baggage we accumulate..

We had a great sermon today about the baggage that we carry around in life.
(guilt, unforgiveness, unfulfilled expectations-like "unanswered prayers," bitterness, etc.)

It was really eye opening to me at the things that can be baggage and we may not even realize it.

I really want to take this to heart and work on "cleaning house" and get rid of some of my own baggage!

I know God has forgiven me, and set me free, but am I really taking advantage of that? Why then, do I still hold on to all this stuff that ties me down??

I want to live at my fullest potential, FOR REAL!!!!! ;)

I don't know that I have a lot of large pieces... a lot of little handbags, some backpacks...and maybe a couple full sized suitcases... maybe a trunk or two?!

Nothing like a little spring cleaning to cleanse the soul!!


( if you would like more info on the sermon, you can visit the City Community Church website: citycommunitychurch.com there is usually a podcast or something, there is even a you tube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/citycommunitychurch )

A Spring Treat in my Mailbox!

Happy Spring Everyone!
I hope you all had a truly blessed Easter! I am so glad to finally be enjoying some nice springy weather here!!!! I finally feel alive again! Those gloomy days just bring me down!!!

I have a little story to share.. maybe not so much a "story" but whatever..
It's a piece of one of my 'life-goals' at least...

OK, I was SO excited when I finally received a paper copy of the Spring Edition - Open Arms Newletter recently!


Open Arms is a pregnancy loss support group run through Community Health Network. (you can visit their website at: http://www.ecommunity.com/openarms/ to learn more about pregnancy loss resources also!)


I wrote a poem for the bulletin this past December for the Open Arms holiday memorial service, to honor our two lost babies. Afterwards, I was asked to submit something for the spring newsletter!!! Of course, I was THRILLED to do so!


SO, here it is, my first time being published.. :)


As an aspiring writer, for me this is a great first step, a dream in print, and I am honored to be able to (hopefully) touch the lives of others through writing about my experiences..

here is a link to the entire newletter: http://www.ecommunity.com/openarms/index.aspx?pg=10339

( By the way, just celebrating a small goal, and spreading awareness about these great resources for hurting people, not looking for praise or trying to brag, I hope to never come across that way...But hey if you wanna pat me on the back, not like I'm gonna shoo you away! HA! ;) )

No, really though, I feel so blessed for this opportunity and hope that God will continue to open doors and windows for my husband and I as we keep truckin' down this crazy road!

Thanks to everyone that has supported us and prayed for us. This next Sunday (May 3rd) would have been my due date so we're still not out of the woods.. tough times still to come, but I feel like the winds of change are ready to send breezes of goodness and grace our way!

~ Shannon

just along for the ride..

So I've been avoiding posting anything lately. Mainly because most people would see my last month of life to be somewhat of a "train-wreck."

when actually, I feel like it's been.. necessary.

In my previous job I felt very trapped in the same day to day exsistence, and most days did not feel any amount of satisfaction from the work I had done.
I was helpful of course, but it just wasn't fulfilling.

After much prayer, I decided to take a leap into another job that I felt was God sending me a 'way out' of the undertow from which I was suffocating.

It was an amazing whirlwind of chaos, flowers, phones, orders, deadlines, last minute changes, rush desicions, papers, machines, cold rooms, typing in gloves, bows and ribbons, casket sprays and flowers, boquets and notes, and achoo-allergies! All followed by a quick bite of food and bathroom break if you're lucky!! SHEW!

As fabulous as I thought it would be to "work with flowers" all day, and "manage the front of store" The ferverent pace quickly wore me down, and somehow when considering this position, I must have repressed the fact that I have allergies! So working in a cooler all day with allergies also brought me down quickly.

I'm explaining all this because, I know, that for whatever reason, this was an experience I needed to have.

The store owner who is a great christian woman was able to show me her strengths as she worked amidst the stress, and even allowed a homeless man off the street to work for her so he could earn a few dollars. When other people probably wouldn't have trusted him... she showed him God's love! SO anyway, she was great to work with.... and when things were all said and done and I realized it was not going to be a good fit, she understood.

She reassured me that God's hand was in all of this.

And so, here I am. At a brand spanking new job, not knowing what the heck to expect next in life at this point. I don't mind my new job, it is a job. Is it where God wants me for the time being? I suppose.

I do feel like I am on a train that is tipping back and forth, trying to fly off the tracks, but somehow, barely hanging on.

Most days, I am okay. Today I am not.

I dunno if someone is playing a cruel joke or something.. actually, i'm sure it's from something I signed up for on a website at some point, but it feels like a cruel joke...

BUT, I received a box with several trial sized containers of Similac baby formula in the mail this week.. YAY!

I tell ya, it took everything I had in me not to hurl the box down the street.

I think my actual words were, oh that's lovely, but inside I felt like throwing it.
My next thought was though, do i know anyone that could use this? ( I hate things going to waste!)

So that might have set me off. Gave me the little push down the hill, snowballing until I'm brought to tears thinking that my due date would have been in April.. I honestly hadn't thought about that in months!

I've of course had the sharp pains in my stomach, heart, and head when seeing a pregnant lady or someone with a stroller, but I have grown a bit stronger with that recently, or maybe I have just been stuffing in all inside? hmpf. whatev.

So at the advice of my aunt... I'm am trying to let myself "FEEL" today. Giving myself permission, because sometimes I think it needs it in order to really let go.

This past month (or like 5 wks) has felt like a lifetime! But I still feel like I'm stumbling up the path I'm supposed to be on.. there's just a lot of rocks, and bolders.. and giant mega redwood trees blocking some of the areas I need to step.

Oh Yeah, P.S. the tests I had run in January all came out normal, so no help there.

At a Crossroads

Today we finally put away all our Christmas stuff!! HA!

Yeah, we have been a little slow on everything, slow putting them out, so of course, a little slow putting them away! Oh Well!

So. I had a 'new patient appointment' this week with an OB/GYN to discuss things.

I was able to speak with the RN and the Doctor, who I really liked, but the message was the same from both.

'We can run a couple tests, but you really should see a reproductive specialist.'

ARG.

I was hoping that out of this appt I would be able to just get a barrage of tests and figure something out!!!! Can't it be that easy?

Um. No.

They drew blood for 2 tests, both which came back within normal range (prolactin and thyroid) which, yeah is good to hear... but at the same time, this gives no answers to what is happening!

And in the back of my head I'm thinking.. Maybe I'm searching for answers that aren't there...

I was given a couple names of reproductive endocrinologists in the area (since we are definitely not going back to our previous doc)

However, I am at a crossroads in my heart..

Do we Proceed with tests, shots, meds, waiting, fear and dealing with emotions from past experiences?? Not to mention all the costs!

I can try the myofascial release again, which I am totally good with, but we need to see if there is something causing the miscarriages first..

I just couldn't bear to go through that again, especially without trying to find out if it's somehow preventable.

Or, do we try a different road altogether? Do we start seriously looking into adoption?
I am starting to research because there is SO much information to go through on adoption and I want to know all our options.

So many question marks!!

I (we) want to do the right thing for our family - and not because I am afraid or unsure to do something else, because I understand it's not always easy, it's just nice to be a little prepared ya know!?

All I can do is pray and pray that the right paths will be revealed to us.
(and Soon! I am feeling impatient today!!)

Shannon :)

happy new year

Hello All - and a Happy New Year to ya!

So, the Colts are out of the playoffs, and the holidays are left behind..

Now What???

I dunno about you, but I'm relieved to get a breath for a moment.

Although I feel like I am juggling about 4 watermelons right now with other things..
I am still looking forward to this being a good year.

It's nice to feel the "clean slate" feeling that a new year brings.

Any resolutions?? I am not sure that I am making any "resolutions" persay, I am simply making some goals for our family.

Things to work on!
Oh so many things I'd like to work on, but sticking to my "one day at a time" motto, and doing what I can do.

I will write more soon.. just letting everyone know we've survived the holidays and welcoming the new year!