Trying To Get Real

Nothing spectacular to post about. Just a little 'hello' to everyone!

I don't think I've been living up to what I really wanted to be/do with this blog...

My intentions were to be more transparent and upfront about our journey but I feel like I could be doing better at that...

It's been a bit of a roller coaster month and my emotions have risen and plummetted day to day..or more like hour to hour!

It was at a funeral - of all places (or not, maybe that's what's supposed to happen there?) - that I had a shift in my perception.. it didn't stay with me afterward really- just later as I reflected, but during the short service, I was filled with both joy and sorrow...

I hate seeing anyone losing a spouse and it makes me think of the "what-ifs" that just tear me in two. so that was part of the sorrow.

I was sad to lose this person from our family who was such a strong influential christian example.

But I was joyful for the life he led, the legacy he left behind, and the eternal life he had moved on to......

Here is where my 'shift' was.. I'm always so focused on the NOW. and what I want right NOW!

I know I've probably said this before - but I just hate that I slip back into this mind frame....
How do we stay focused on the eternal?

I get so frustrated with myself! I guess just life takes us there..

That's really only the tip of the iceberg this month...

Between fighting sinuses (yeah, what is up with the allergy season this year??)
Mending family hurts and illnesses, taking family to the er, getting dogs allergy meds....
Trying not to lose my job from being a crazy person and having to take last minute days off...
And trying to be a supportive wife as my hubby has multiple band practices in our house...
And of course the usual birthday parties and gatherings... and of course I decided to join fantasy football league this year!! (okay, parties and football - not bad things!)

SO anyway.. I am pretty much battling my hormones, my selfish being, and trying to stay focused on whatever it is that I'm supposed to be focused on. :) (god help me!) :)

YOWZA... anyone else ready for a new "season" ?? I am! Bring on autumn already!

(p.s. - I think my dog just yacked on the floor - I use that word because that's what it sounded like.... nice)