ready and waiting..

That's been the theme for the past week.... ready and waiting.

Well, not sure how "READY" I am, can one ever really be ready for such a life changing experience? doubt it.

The beautiful weather has been a godsend though - it has really kept me a little preoccupied (I said a little!) and kept me active and helped me keep my mind off of things so much.

I was just taking in nature's beauty this weekend and feeling the warmth of the sun lift my spirits.
It's amazing to me what something like the weather can do to change your perspective or your attitude. It can give a refreshed outlook on life in the dreariest of times.

I was just happy to breathe it in and release all my anxiety and stresses.

Now, today is another story! BLEHCK!

However, I actually forgot all about my shots today. I had decided today was a relax and veg night and had settled in a cozy spot on the couch - when out of the corner of my eye I see the Ziploc back of syringe/needle supplies... Oh bummer... i forgot... crap.

Funny how we can squish the bad stuff out of our heads for a while..but sometimes, more often than not, they start creeping back in.. and we have to deal with them or squish them back again.

Yes, this is all sort of random. just thoughts.. as they pour from my head.

So back to the title - the waiting - and the waiting. that's all this process is really.. just waiting.
growing impatient. trying to think of how in the world will I pass the time between now and the moment we find out???
And no matter what the results.. it will be more waiting. UGH!!!!!

I really hate learning patience. I am not really the most patient person..
And certainly this has been one of the biggest trials of patience I have ever experienced.

I am also struggling a lot with what to eat/drink. My fasting glucose test came back high, so I am getting new meds and really need to be more strict with my diet. arg.
BUT - also have to limit all the stuff that's bad for pregnancy (just in case - no results yet!)

Just think if you wanted a snack but you can't have too many carbs or sugars in a day - what do you eat? yeah, nothing. I am at a loss...... I have been to a dietitian before in the past but not in this situation. So might need to set something up to figure this out!

So hard to be hungry but not want to eat because you don't know WHAT to eat!

Anyway... I think Jesse is pacing the floors waiting on me to watch survivor with him :)

It's so quiet right now... and irregardless of how yucky the weather seems today.. it's so nice to hear the sound of the rain. so calming and peaceful..