Thanksgiving Festivities Week

I am finally starting to come down from the high of this week's festivities..

We dropped off my sister and her fiance today at the airport.. :(

..sniff sniff..

They are in the air as we speak, headed back to sunny California

(i'm sure they are happy to shed their coats! Especially since the ones they had to wear were Jesse & I's semi-matching coats that we got from his grandma last year.... hee hee. since theirs were inconveniently still in new york since -oops- they didn't think they'd need them in Cali!)

We really enjoyed them being here and staying with us this past week. My sister is a 'twin soul' to me! I would love for them to be here on a permanent basis, but, I know her heart is elsewhere..

I have to say Thanksgiving festivities were awesome this year. We had THREE this year!!! (not all in one day)

Wednesday night my hubby and I had a wonderful dinner out with my mom and brother, sister and fiance.

This was in lieu of a "traditional" thanksgiving dinner since there were already so many other plans on Thursday. I am SO thankful that my mom is willing to bend her schedule and create new traditions with us, and for us..

I totally understand that others aren't able to change around thanksgiving meals and cater to jesse and I and that is perfectly fine so please don't think anything of it.

I am just happy we can see (almost) everyone in our crazy thanksgiving whirlwind and am thankful for understanding family.

(there are still others we don't get to see, so we'll just have to plan a post-thanksgiving bash!!)

(my mom isn't really that short, she is sitting on a stool... but my 14 year old brother really IS that tall!!!!! He is actually leaning over! oh where did my "little" brother go???)

Thursday we had lunch with my dad and stepmom's family - where my sister's fiance Jeff was introduced to pretty much all our family. I have to say, I think he was a hit!

Of course I already thought he was great, but it is SO nerve racking meeting family, especially future in-laws, but he made it.... shew!

OH - AND my dogs liked him so that was the big test! :)

Our Second (and final) stop on Thursday was at my husband's grandma's house.. where I take part in the annual coloring of a paper turkey coloring page with his younger cousins (ages 6 & 8)

This year we made it like a "real life" turkey, on a farm. And later we drew a poster of an "alien turkey" on mars! :) Always fun!

SO Yea, Talk about stuffed!!!!

We are totally eating veggies only the rest of the week .. well .. after we eat all the left overs we scored first!! :)

SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR!

Tis the Season to be Thankful

I got a call back from the lady at the support group. She said they meet in the "Community Relations Room" but it is off-site!

So, me, the very directionally challenged individual that I am.. did not pay attention to the physical address listed.. I just assumed that the hospital was the location.

I will need to mapquest it so i actually know where i'm going this time.

We'll just call it a practice run!

Part of me feels bad for being short in my voicemail.. but part of me doesn't. It would be helpful to have some clarification in the literature. but anyways, I will try again next time! There's one on this Thursday at another hospital i might try.

My husband and I had a "spill our guts" conversation last weekend that was good, and much needed to continue healing. I know it helped me alot.

There have been some recent days that getting out of bed and going to work was one of the hardest things to do. And days that I had to take a personal day to deal with my crazy self.

We are looking forward to next weekend - my sister and her fiance are coming to visit and staying with us for a week! I just cannot wait!!
It's nice having something to look forward to, and giving me things to do as I prepare for their visit.

Holidays are difficult, watching kids with Santa and seeing their eyes glowing, and opening presents... I smile and laugh and get a warmth and happiness when I see it, but immediately after i get a stabbing pain in my heart and a sinking sick feeling in my stomach... I swallow hard and try to make it go away and not cry.

it can be embarassing to be such a cry baby at times, but i'm an emotional chick and that's also where i am in life right now.... so i just try to always have kleenexes! :)

There are a couple memorial services for Christmas that honor the lost little ones. I would like to go, and think I will, but i think it will take some pray for preparation.. it will be difficult.

I am grieving and praying for a friend that has lost a little angel, and she was due the day after Christmas. (Keep holding on girl! God gives us hope, and gives rest to the weary.)

I know it intensifies all the emotions, especially around a holiday, and dealing with the due date passing by and not having a little one to hold..

I have had thoughts recently about how this would have been the 1st Christmas for our first loss.. but, what other place to celebrate Jesus but in Heaven??
I long for my lost babies, but wow, they are spending christmas with the Lord.

What else could a momma wish for her baby if he/she couldn't be in her arms?

I continue to thank god for sending people into my life to help me through this trial..
I started talking to a lady who cometimes makes copies in my office as she doesn't have one and is just down the hall.
Somehow we got on the topic of infertility (she is a Nurse and you just never know what you'll end up talking about with nurses :) I mean that in a good way! I love them!) Anyway, her daughter went through infertility and now has a couple kids, but she is going to have her call me.

It's amazing how many women are effected by this problem, i am finding out. And how many have went thru the pain of waiting, and still are.
In a strange way it is encouraging because it means I am not alone.. WE are not alone in this journey.... but dang, it is a friggin' roller coaster!

just me and an empty room..

SO, I know it's been a while, but today I just need to vocalize some frustration!!

I had been debating about going to a support group for bereavement - this group is only for miscarriage and infant loss.. there was one posted for the 2nd tuesday of each month..today.

So I stalled a bit after work, stopped at the store, took the long way towards home in case i decided I wanted to go to the support group - it didn't start until 7p and i didn't want to drive home then drive back to the southside so i needed to kill some time... anyway i finally found my way to st francis's parking lot and decided to go inside.
FINALLY I find the "Community Room" and what do I see? A dark room.

hmm. well, I am a couple minutes early i thought.. so i wandered down the hall and back..

still no one. i check the schedule posted..no support group on there.

i talk to the front desk attendant, he doesn't know anything either.

I waited a few more minutes, but alas.. no show!

What kind of support group is that?!?
I plan to make a call tomorrow because it is posted on-line and everything.
It was really hard to get the guts to drag myself there to talk about something I don't REALLY want to talk about.

There's another one in a couple weeks at a different hospital, so I plan to try that one.
I should probably call first to make sure someone will be there!! :P

okay, sorry for the rant, just peeved at the "support" offered by our community!