New Beginnings

Wow! My first Blog on my own Blogger page.. who knew? I am starting this simply to journal our footsteps toward starting a family, to keep family and friends informed and to keep our precious life moments regardless whether they may be difficult or joyous.

As you may know, my husband Jesse and I were blessed in October with wonderful news. We were expecting our first child! It was a miracle in itself to have such success on our first try of fertility meds so we were shocked and amazed and overjoyed! A short 2 weeks after our news, the rug was ripped out beneath us just as quickly as it had all happened.

And thus, the grieving and repairing, mending and growing began as we learned to cope with such a tragic loss. I never knew such a deep grief could be possible for something, someone that I never even Really knew, but was at the same time so connected and one with, for even a short period of time. I was 7 wks along, and had only known for 2 wks, but it really seemed like a lifetime, which I suppose for one of us, it was...

So with the support and prayers of our family, friends and coworkers, we've made it to this point of accepting the blessing that God gave us and moving forward as we must.
The Lord blessed us with now knowing that pregnancy IS possible!

He blessed us with the gift of time, to be more prepared (if that is ever possible) to put some priorities in better perspective and to be able to grow in this experience - by supporting each other, and becoming better listeners and learning how to communicate better.
He has also brought us closer to HIM through prayer and His word, and through the encouragement of others.

SO - Here's where the new chapter begins....
Tomorrow I start back on the fertility meds....... so crazy emotional shannon is about to return.. YIKES!

I am totally relying on the Lord to help me stay sane.
I truly truly TRULY do NOT want to lose my mind.

So, with that said, we shall see.
Any prayers or encouraging words are MUCH appreciated! Hey, even if you have to tell me I am being a crazy person, I welcome it... I might cry, but I still will appreciate it being brought to my attention :)

I am also thinking in the back of my mind... am I really doing this again?
The pills, the shots, the emotions..... the nausea, the sleeplessness....
but, oh, the love of a tiny one..... my heart and soul just yearn for it so this is the reason...
a gift from God, a piece of Jesse's heart, and a piece of mine, woven into one.

Yeah, don't remind me of the other stuff like stinky poopy diapers and teenage fights, yadda yadda yadda... :) It's all in love right????