the start of a rough couple days..

Today was difficult.

I found out a co-worker's wife passed away after a long illness. Even so, even though we knew it was bound to happen, it was heart breaking!!!

I really didn't know her, except what he had said about her, but I felt like I knew her.. and you could see that he adored her.

Tears were sneaking up on me all day.. Even reading the sympathy cards, and walking through the store.. it was the love they shared that radiated from him that had touched me so, and the loss he must feel..

There is nothing we can do to prepare for a loss like that.

It scares the crap out of me!

So that pretty much set me on my emotional roller-coaster of a day.

This Thursday night is the Open Arms Memorial Service for lost infants and pregnancies.

Late morning I found out that the deadline for submitting any special words or poems, etc, was today at noon..so i decided to try and write something while at work, which probably wasn't a good idea but I REALLY wanted to submit something. I did it, glad i did, but that contributed to the roller coaster I was on..

I muddled through work. Feeling kinda "off" today - not sure if it's stress or what!? But really, physically feeling off.

My tummy gets swimmy and anxious, and my head gets light and fuzzy when i think about going on Thursday, but I really think it will be a good thing.

It's hard to face things you know will make you sad. But i guess it's part of the healing process, part of life.

I hate that death is a "part" of life.

I of course believe that there is something much more wonderful on the other side of this life... but I guess it's the fact that others are leaving with out us,
that we don't know exactly what's there, or what they are doing,
how we are to continue without them, or how much longer til we can see them again..
or sometimes meet them for the first time....

hmm. my heart is heavy tonite.